Fuck appropriateness.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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