i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
