Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
