you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
