I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
