it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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