ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I need to stop coming to work sober
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
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