there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize