can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
