My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
