Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
