VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
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