you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
