I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Houston, we have a squirter
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
