I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
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