Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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