Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Who died my cat blue again?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
