apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
