just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
