I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
