I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize