I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
