Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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