Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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