My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
