Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Oh god it's open bar.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize