I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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