Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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