i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
