Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
