I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
