i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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