just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I am naked and annoyed.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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