maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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