u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
