Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
