nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
