fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
