I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Randomize
