she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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