mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
