I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
