after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
