I feel like I'm in dance class right now
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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