the new term for farting is butt boxing.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
