Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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