I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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