My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize