You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
We talked him into tasing himself.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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