"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
