Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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