guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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