How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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