This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
