lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Randomize
