sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
