Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
