Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
