Plan B is the new Plan A
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
