Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
