trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
