i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
