I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
