haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
