i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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