how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
