Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
