you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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