I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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