Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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