ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Hello my rib-scented angel!
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
