i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I have aggressive nipples.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
