32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
