i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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