So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
