why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I'm at about main and main street
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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