I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
