look no pants
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
