I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
