Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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