would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
